NOVEMBER 9

It’s almost a phobia, not that I am an expert on them. But the way I feel in or out of the boot is so different, it could be. IN the boot, it’s almost as if all is normal – my movement around the house or world is basically unrestricted. Slower, but at will. OUT of the boot I feel trapped on that spot, unable to do much (most of the time the walker isn’t anywhere near me.) As a result, I don’t want to be out of the boot. The phobia part has to do with the intensity of these feelings. It’s uncommon for me to feel that much out of control.

Tomorrow is another appointment at the doctor. Since one wire is starting to move as it is jostled or touched, and the other seems cemented in place, I doubt that if he removes the one he’ll be able to remove the other. I just want them both out of me. They are ugly and serious reminders of what happened. I’d rather let it all slip into dim memory and move on.

So, X-Rays – for sure – and the answer to what happens after the boot is no longer necessary? (I’ve not asked!) I doubt I can force the foot (still swollen) into a shoe, but maybe an unlaced sneaker would work.